So, then!?? Why do we do the things we do?!!

If you know me, or know anything about me (which if you don't, its kinda creepy your reading this) you know I am a pretty active person. (In life that is - not the gym)  Well I do a lot, or at least I think I do.  Some things to advance myself, somethings to advance others, some things... well just because.  This is an opinion I have of myself, you don't have to agree. I know some of you think I am super controlling and selfish - and well even though I think your stupid (because you know better, but somewhere along the way you got your feelings hurt - by choice) or ignorant (because you just don't get it, because you have never been there) you are entitled to your opinion.

I while back I was on a walk with a friend, and either I or her was complaining about doing something...I don't remember how the conversation went but the resulting thought was that - heck, you, me and everyone else knows your going to keep doing what your complaining about so why complain.  The only thing that complaining does it make you feel even worse about the things you don't want to know but yet you know your going to do it anyway.  Now this is not a post to complain about people complaining.  I know that sometimes just getting a good complaining session (venting) in can make things better, but rather to contemplate why we do the things we do?!

I have always asked myself this question, but it seems like lately I have been asking it my self a lot more. 

To me its super important to ask your self when in a Church Calling.  I love being Young Women's President, but man there are days I have to ask myself 3-4 times why am I doing this?!  Its hard, the hardest calling I have ever had. Its scary, its the scariest thing to come to realize that 15 young teenagers admire, watch, and count on you every second. Its not a "Sunday Calling," it can be terrifying.  I have to ask with what attitude am I doing this?  Is there any way I am not going to do this?! ( The last answer is almost always no), so then!?? 

At home its come up a lot too.  I feel like I work really really hard for what we have. I love that feeling that I get when I know I have worked really hard for this.  That makes all the difference to me. But the worst feeling is when you have someone come in and pretty much crap on your hard work. That feeling of failure and insecurity that someone can stir up inside you in less than 60 seconds.  That's when the question comes up - why do I even do this?! Why do I try to make things better for those around me when they just come and crap on it, so then!??

At work, ah well... at work its simple, I don't want to be there. It makes it hard. There's no motivation for me.  Right now it is not a career but rather a job, yes, the simple solution is well then switch to a career, well if you don't know what you want in life its hard to find a career in it!  (That's a whole other post)  So then!??

So, then!?? So, then!?? So, then!??

You may think that there is not an answer for the question, but oh there is.  4 answers to be exact.  4 answers I play through my mind many times.

FEAR.REWARD.DUTY.LOVE

Those are the answers to the question. Simple! There's only 4 of them, and its multiple choice!

1.  Fear

2.  Reward

3.  Duty

4.  Love

The four reasons why we do anything that we do.  It helps me soo much to think about this every now and then.  It strengthens my testimony of the gospel, the yw organization, my marriage, and my relationship with others.  It helps me weed out the things I am doing that I don't necessarily need to be doing. 

A few weeks ago I had a similar conversation that I had about a year and a half ago. I had a conversation, related to my church calling, with someone I used to respect where I was told that the only reason I am stressed is because I feel the need to go above and beyond. And its OK not to. That it was OK to only do your part - and well if no none else does their part then it just doesn't get done. Really!?! That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. What if our Father in Heaven would have that attitude? Or even Jesus Christ, we wouldn't have the atonement. This conversation has bothered me ever since it took place. Yes, maybe I am an over achiever,and yes it stresses me out and sometimes I burn my candle on both ends, but one of my favorite quotes is - good is the greatest enemy to great. Who am I to say I have done enough? Who am I to say I wont help someone who is struggling to do their part?  To this day that has to be some of the dumbest advice I was ever given.  So forgive me if I don't want to be good. I know being great is hard work and I know at times I will question myself, but if it keeps me away from good that's OK. I rather question why I do the things I do every now and then but still be in the running for great than to not even attempt to try for it.

Well, to sum it all up, I know not everyone agrees with me, but hey its my blog! I try (try - I'm not perfect) to do all the things I do because I love my Heavenly Father.  That's a hard thing to always keep in mind and sometimes the instant gratification reward is great too, but the main purpose is to grow the kingdom of God.  That's it.  I was told once as long as I do everything I do, to help the kingdom of God, I will be just fine.  What a true statement that is.  I know I am young, but it has worked for me so far! 

So, then I do the things that I do, even though sometimes they are hard, scary, or make me complain because I believe they need to be done to grow the kingdom of God.